Short Introductions to Open Your Mind:

Who Do You Think You Are?

You can't really know what you want when you don't know you. One must become aware of who they are and who they want to become before choosing the paths of change. Think for a moment, where is your identity and sense of belonging? Who do you think you are?

Your journey begins with exploration of awareness. Nearly all religions teachers and philosophers agree change begins with awareness. They differ on what to call it. Some refer to the same concept as "mindfulness," some call it "cognitive psychology," and some just call it "paying attention." Regardless of one's favorite phrase to describe it, the goal is the same.

One must become aware that the reality one lives in was and is created with distortions, limitations of our senses, feelings, and altered memories. All of these are experiences, analyzed, altered, categorize, and assigned meaning whether totally true or not. You distort them according to your beliefs, pride, identity, and previous experiences. Finally, these distorted events are rewritten by inner motivations, outer influences, and are revised every time they are recalled, (we will validate this when we explore studies on memory). Finally, similar events trigger associated, linked thoughts and feelings when one is reminded of them.

Your beliefs alter who you are and the reality you live in. Do you believe you are stupid? Then you probably are... Do you believe you are clever? Then, you probably are... Don't get angry, you are responsible for creating your identity, (with the help of those good and evil people around you whom you chose to believe). If you think you are good at something, you probably are; your confidence helps you focus on doing it better. Notice that people great at something believe they are great at it and those with the least skills at something believe it is too difficult for them or they are bad at it. If you think you are unskillful or inept at something; you probably are; your minds seek to justify and confirm your beliefs. What some call the “sub-conscious mind” may even sabotage your success at something if you believe you are not able or are not worthy to be successful at it. This “sub-conscious” control often overpowers your more logic based cognitive mind. We will explore the concept of multiple “minds” later. The beliefs you have chosen to believe make you who you are and are the control centers for every action, re-action, emotion, and behavior. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he, (Proverbs 23:7).

Truthful awareness of who you are is both polluted and occasionally made more clear by the influence of those around you now and in your past. What you think others have and do think of you may have a powerful influence on your identity. Truthful awareness of who you are must be practiced and explored continually. Express your own thoughts in your “Action Plan” workbook or a notebook.

Who Do They Think You Are?

Who other people think you are has an influence on who you think you are, upon your feelings,inner peace, pleasures, and actions. How much power you chose to allow others to have over you and influence you is your choice. When you were a child other people told you who you are. Your parents, relatives, teachers, friends, groups, and activities created you; implanting your beliefs and identity. These combined forces, experiences, feelings, and incoming information helped you form an image of who you think you are. As a immature child, you can blame others for who you are; but it is your responsibility and power to choose and change who you are now and in the future.

In time, you became increasingly aware of your own independent thoughts and beliefs. You have experienced doubts about who you are and who the world has made you. If you are stuck in endless, painful cycles of the past and have never really matured to independent thought; you feel helpless about changing yourself and your life. Fortunately, as you mature mentally, (age has nothing to do with maturity in this context), you make choices about what you believe and what you don't; what power and influence those around you have over you; and finally who you are now and who you will be in the future. Continue exploring to break these chains and be free to change your life and have the confidence to not be shaken by what others think of you.

Where Are You Now?

If I ask you: "You will travel in the future, how will you get there?" You can't answer this question unless you know where you are now and where you want to go. Only then can you begin to explore your options on how to get there. Goals and destinations must be detailed and specific. I asked a student "What is success to you?" She replied, "To have a happy family." I asked, "How can you make this dream real? What is your action plan to make it happen?" She looked at me with a blank stare and said, "I have no idea, I never thought about that."

A journey can not begin without clearly knowing where you are now and where you want to go. You must become aware of your dillusions and learn to see through the illusions within and around you. You can not truly know what you want and need without clearly knowing yourself. You can not choose a path or road on a map unless you know where you are beginning your journey and are very clear about where you are going.

I asked the girl, "Where does a happy family begin? What do you need first to make it happen?" She replied with a giggle, "I need to begin with the right man." I said, "Who is the right man? Describe him." She said, "He must be responsible, one who plans and works for a better future, be dependable, and honest." I asked, "Is your boyfriend the right man?" Her eyes widened as she exclaimed, "No way! We will be going apart." I asked, "Where did you meet him?" She said, "A karaoke bar and club." I asked, "Is that were responsible, hard working, future minded, dependable, honest men hang out?" She laughed, "No." I continued, "If you are shopping for food, you don't go to a shoe store. Where should you be shopping for this kind of boy?" She said, "The university library!" Okay, she could still meet the wrong guy but at least now she is thinking with detailed goals and specific actions to increase her chances of creating her future reality. To help you further down your path use the free action planning workbooks to brainstorm and bring your thoughts or dreams into your real world.